she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
