everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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