DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
