Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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