in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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