you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
