so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I didn't notice because vodka
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
