all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
