don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
