In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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