And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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