Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
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Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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