U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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