Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
