Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
