very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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