i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
