Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she peed on how many people?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
