STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
