he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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