I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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