i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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