I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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