Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
