Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
