Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
