the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize