Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize