guys are only as good as the porn they watch
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
