we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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