Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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