For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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