best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I want her autograph on my taint
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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