So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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