How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just high enough for therapy.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
