I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize