Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
