I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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