she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
