I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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