porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
