i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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