i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
