we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
