He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
