I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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