dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
