yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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