Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
