thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
