I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
