wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
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Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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