how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
