I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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