Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
