And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
