I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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