I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
