If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
