Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize