I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
