Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
