Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
