no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
