is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
