Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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