everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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