My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
