you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
