She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
