I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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