omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
