no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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