He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
