If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i now understand why vodka
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