real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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