Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
